March 21, 2009 Saturday

This day was spent visiting both orphanages. We have decided to divide up the two hour time slot in the morning and afternoon with an hour at each orphanage. Both orphanages are in walking distance of each other. We think this is better for "D" because the time is started to drag out, trying to think of things to do. With Caleb it is different, because he just plays and plays and is very happy imagining and playing with us just watching. But because "D" is older, we end up just trying to think of things to ask her, which is difficult and seems a little awkward at times. Paul has struggled the last few days with his health. We have been trying to stay inside, but this is difficult, because playing outside is a huge deal to these children at the orphanage. Because it is Spring, we often see the children and caregivers working in the designated areas for flower beds. The children know not to walk in these areas. They have very old rakes and are clearing all the dead leaves away. I'm sure it will be beautiful here in a few weeks, because there are tulips popping up out of the soil, almost everywhere you look. This will be a great distraction from all the trash you see most everywhere.

This morning we went to see "D". On the way, we went to pick up Katya. She is Luda's daughter who is home from college in Odesa for the weekend. She will interpret for us today. Katya acts very mature and greets us politely. She was friendly and speaks English very well. She also speaks Ukrainian and Russian. She is studying at the college in travel and tourism. After arriving at the orphanage, we told "D" that we wanted to take her to meet her brother (brat) at the other orphanage. She smiled slightly. We wonder what is going on inside of her head. We wonder how she "really" is feeling about this. We asked her if she wanted to go and meet him and she said, "Dah". We had to go and find another lady at the orphanage to get permission to take her next door to the younger children's orphanage. "D" took us to the office where the lady was and when we arrived the lady was on the phone. When she finished talking "D" told us in a very matter-of-fact way that we did get permission for her to go this afternoon from 4-6. We have noticed that "D" can accept responsibility when she needs to and is a leader in many ways of the group she is in. She has no problem talking with adults and getting instructions. Katya, told us what "D" said. After getting permission, we visited with her for a while and then told her we would come back that afternoon. That if she wanted, she could wear her new coat, hat and jeans. She has kept them put away in a different place than where all the other children keep theirs. We noticed that the children that will be leaving the orphanage hang their things in a separate closet.

That afternoon Paul, Katya and I went to pick her up at her orphanage. She went in and got her new jeans and put them on and then got her new coat and hat. We walked next door to the other orphanage. When Caleb, came out he ran and hugged me. Paul was videoing. I told Caleb that this was "D" his sistra (sister). He was a little hesitant. I asked him if he wanted to hug her. He waited. His caregiver told him to hug his sister and he immediately did. The caregiver then asked "D" if she wanted to help Caleb get ready to go outside. She immediately went as Caleb took his coat out of the small locker. He put it on and then he asked "D" to help him zip his coat. She immediately zipped his coat and fastened the snaps. She then got out his knit hat and put it on his head. It was amazing to see her take care of him. They went outside to play. She did leave him and went and played with Kelly and Jason's son, Daniel. (Kelly and Jason have now put Daniel's name on their blog, so we can share his name with you. Daniel is 4 and is a bundle of energy….he never stops! He has already learned to count to 7 in English two weeks, respond to his new name, say "good job", recognize several animals and ride a bike with training wheels. "D" did come back after a while and began to push Caleb in the swing. He will say, "push harder" and the harder you push the more he laughs! He has no fear.

We then went inside to play for a while. At the end of the visit, I asked "D" if she wanted to go and she responded "nyet". But, then within minutes she was going to put on her coat and hat and then she sat with no expression. Katya asked her if she was okay, if she wanted to go back home, if she wanted to go to the restroom, but she kept responding, nyet (no). I decided we should go, so we said our goodbye's (pih-kah) and went back to "D's" orphanage. All the way, she walked several feet in front of us. This is so hard for us to figure out. We are unsure if this is because of the language barrier, if she is conflicted with feelings about leaving when she was having fun, or if she just finds it hard to express her feelings. It is in times like these, that you must just allow things to "be" what they are and not read too much into it. We have to remember, we are still only at the tip of getting to know each other.

After leaving the orphanage, Paul was feeling worse. We ate dinner and then went to bed. Tomorrow would be church and then a special lunch we planned for Luda's family, Jene and Natalya (we finally asked her what she wanted to be called because some people call her Natasha and others Natalya…..Natalya wins!! (This makes me think about Natalya….my hairdresser from Fantastic Sam's in Andover. Hi, Natalya….We have met another Natalya here in B-D. She is 25 and our lawyer. I told the families here how you helped me with my Russian, but there was little time to teach me much! Ha! I do want to thank you, though, because the little book has helped so much and they do understand when I pronounce the words. I can't wait to bring the kids to get their hair cut. I'm sure they will be happy to speak to someone that understands them!...See you soon! Darla)

So until tomorrow!


March 22, 2009 Sunday - CHURCH, SUNDAY LUNCH WITH FRIENDS AND THE CASTLE!!!

We were very surprised when Jene picked us up from the clinic and Natalya was in the car. THEY WERE GOING TO CHURCH WITH US! This was very exciting, because neither of them go to church. When we reached the church, Jene's mother greeted us. I hugged her. You could tell that Natalya was slightly nervous, but I just patted her on the shoulder and smiled a lot. Everyone was so nice to bring us the small pamphlet for their service. Jene and Natalya read it. Before the service started we realized it was communion Sunday. By the end of the service, I could tell that Natalya was getting tired. It was a long service, because everything about the communion was explained. I can see how it would be so helpful to have a more contemporary service for younger people like, Jene and Natalya. It is in times like these I can see that there would need to be huge changes for the young people here to attend church on a regular basis. This is not unlike how it is in the US. It is just that the churches in the US have figured out that even though the gospel never changes and remains the same powerful messages throughout the ages, how we present it must change to adapt to the many cultures, ages and level of spiritual maturity it is being presented to. I have been praying that God would give our family the opportunity to help in this area here in Ukraine in the future. I am hoping that He will find that we are willing and ready to serve Him to reach the lost here in Ukraine. I look forward to seeing how this may transpire. I am hoping that there are others of you that will feel called to reach out to these people and possibly return with us to adopt or do mission work going forward to these people.

We were also surprised that Simone came to church with Kelly and Jason! It felt good to know that we had made good enough relationships with our drivers that they would attend church with us.

After church, Luda found an American hymnal and Paul found the song, His Eye is On the Sparrow! This is the song that I have chosen to sing next Sunday! (Rachel Findley…I wish you were here to sing it for me!!!) The organist was able to play the piece, so hopefully my voice will hold up till next Sunday. This seems to be allergy season here in the Ukraine….alot of people are coughing!

We also found out that Jene's mother had told Luda, she had prayed and prayed for Jene to come to church and had asked him many times. She was so happy that he had attended this Sunday. After church we had a couple of hours until Sergey would be done teaching at the church. (Sergey is the pastor and Luda's husband). Jene and Natalya suggested that we go and get coffee. They took us to a nice little tea shop that also served coffee. I had tea from Bulgaria and Paul had "Jacobs" coffee served in a very small tea cup, espresso style. He said that after that small cup he was flying!!!!!

After coffee and tea, Jene and Natalya asked if we wanted to go to the "Castle". (Carol, you would have been in hog heaven!!!) It is "the" tourist attraction of B-D. Called the Medieval Fortress, it stands on the high rocky bank overlooking an estuary of the Black Sea. It is encircled from 3 sides by the moat which in its time was filled with water. The walls were strengthened with 34 towers, but only 3 towers are remaining, today. The fortress was built 500 years ago. We also found out that the town of B-D is one of the most ancient cities on the planet Earth. It has been continuously inhabited by mankind for 2500 years. As we walked around in the courtyard, they have many areas you can "dress-up in the clothing of the day" and take pictures with your own camera. Natalya wanted Paul and I to dress up, but I told her I wouldn't unless she would. Of course this is all done with pantomime, because we both speak very little of each other's language. We took pictures of Natalya and I in queen's clothing. They also had us made a pressed coin that had a replica of the castle on it. Paul and I just felt so blessed that God would allow us to develop these relationships with them. It is so touching that they would want to spend this time with us regardless of our differences and the language barrier.

After the castle we went to the restaurant, "Argo" to have lunch. We met Sergey, Luda, Katya, Vladick, and Kelly, Jason and Simone and his wife, who is also Luda. We all ate and laughed and laughed. Luda must have been exhausted having to translate for everyone, but she said she was used to it. Everyone seemed so happy. Paul gave a little speech, about how we came not knowing what we would experience, but we feel so blessed for the friendships we have made. Jason and Kelly's driver, Simone, then also said he felt so close to Jason and Kelly. Jason said he felt like Simone was like an Uncle to them. Simone laughed and said, I'm probably more like a Daduschka, which means Grandfather. Simone's wife made the comment that she also felt close to Kelly and Jason, because every day Simone would come home and say, "We talked about this and we talked about that…!" This is so funny, because neither family can understand a thing anyone is saying! But this is how it has been here in Ukraine for us…..we find a way to communicate!

After lunch we went to see "D". She was very quiet and seemed to not be feeling well. She said she was fine, when asked. We talked about going to court on Wednesday and asked her if she knew what that was. I tried to explain to her what it meant and she slightly grinned. I also told her about the 10 day waiting period and that during that time, we would ask permission to see if we could take her shopping to get the clothes she would need to travel home. We told her after the ten days, we would travel on a train to Kyiv and have to stay there a few days to get her and Caleb's passports. Paul showed her the passport. We told her we needed the passport to fly home on the plane. She smiled again. We told her that we were very excited and were telling her these things because we felt like she was old enough to understand. She said, "Dah." We then left and went to play with Caleb. Yes, we went out on the playground and he headed for the swing. I think the child would live in a swing if he could!

After leaving we tried to go to the internet cafй, hoping we could SKYPE, our children. Unfortunately, we were unable to. THIS WAS SO DISSAPPOINTING! We really miss our children and long to be back with them.

Tomorrow is our Interview to get the paper needed for court. We have to be ready by 8:30 am to go to the Inspector's office and then to meet with the Mayor's assistant for our pre-court interview.


March 23, 2009 Monday - INTERVIEW and an unexpected drive to Kyiv!

We had to be ready at 8:30 am to go and begin our paperwork for the interview. The objective is to get a document that we will have sent to Kyiv before 6:00 pm in order to set a court date for this week.

We first went to Svetlana's office, who is the inspector. She prepared some paperwork and then telephoned the assistant to the Mayor to set up the interview. We were able to get an interview in the morning, so after the paperwork was completed we walked a block down to the Mayor's building. Again, we waited. Then we went up to the assistant's office. He is in charge of all children and domestic issues. We set around a long table with his desk at the end. He began to read over the documents….so we waited. Then he asked if we understood about the children's medical conditions and about their past. Paul said that we had been read the file and given the information that was available in the file. He then asked how our first meetings with the children had gone. I told them a little about our visits with "D" and with "Caleb". There was no expression. He asked if we knew that "D" and Caleb had an older brother. He asked if this older brother at anytime contacted us, would we be willing for "D" and Caleb to meet him. We said that of course this would be expected. (We know that they have not information on the older boy or where he is, as well as, the mother.) He then said he wished us luck and to have a good life. Then we left. It lasted about 15 minutes.

Then we waited for more paperwork to be stamped. Then we went back to Svetlana's office to sign the ledger. This is a routine. After each transaction, you sign a ledger!

After signing the ledger, Jene informed us that he would be driving to Kyiv to take our papers. He said he had missed the plane that could take the papers, and the train would make it too late. He said he must drive the papers to Kyiv in order for it to get there in time. This would cost us more, but it could keep us from adding another week to our stay here. We hated for him to have to do it, but he said it is his job. We also are worried because we heard it is snowing in Kyiv. We pray for his safe journey.

Paul was feeling really bad physically at this point so we didn't go to see Caleb, but went back to the orphanage. An advantage of living at the clinic is the pharmacy. He was able to get antibiotics!!!! He slept most of the day and I went in the afternoon to see "D". We didn't go and see Caleb.

At our visit with "D", I worked on questions that I need to ask her if she becomes ill or afraid, etc. Luda also explained to her that she may need to help with Caleb if he is having any problems. I asked a question in Russian and then she answered. We role played if she was sick with her stomach. She played along and pointed at her stomach when I asked her "where" she was hurting. She likes to play games that she feels as if she is helping or learning something. We also talked more about her leaving. I asked her if she would be sad to leave a place she has been all her life or if she would miss anyone. She say Nyet. We also got an opportunity to speak to the Psychologist because she saw us playing. She was wondering if I was willing to leave any of the learning games that I had played with "D", because she uses games when working with the children. I told her I would leave her all the games. She was happy. They are basically small flash cards of colors, shapes, numbers, etc. and, of course the Memory game. She told me that all educated people here have many good skills, but do not have the items needed to develop their skills to help the children. That the most educated only get paid $200.00 a month and this is not even enough to live on, much less buy things needed to teach with. She told me that when "D" first came to the orphanage she spoke to no one, even after years at the orphanage she didn't play with any of the children, she would only play alone. Then when she started working with "D" on stress management, "D" started to play with other children. And now, she is happy to play and speak to children and adults. She said that in the last year "D" has matured and is a leader in many areas. I told her that we can see that "D" is very smart and willing to learn and work with others. She said that when she saw me working with "D" that she knew that "D" would be able to grow and develop under our care.

After going back to the clinic, Paul had slept while I was gone. We then ate scromlet (scrambled eggs, ham, and cheese all mixed together). We watched a movie and went to bed.


March 24, 2009 Tuesday - TODAY…JASON, KELLY and DANIEL become a real family!!!!!!

This morning Jason and Kelly go to Odesa to pick up Daniel's new birth certificate. This is procedure to travel to the birth town of the child and get the new birth certificate that will name Kelly and Jason as the parents. They will get a copy of the old birth certificate for their records. Then at 3:30 pm they will go to his orphanage and have a Good-bye party for his groupa. He will change into new clothes and then the orphanage never to return! This is soooooooooooooo exciting. Jason and Kelly have opted to stay at the clinic with Daniel tonight, instead of leaving to go on the train back to Kyiv. They will instead leave tomorrow. It will be fun to see Daniel away from the orphanage. I know that Jason and Kelly are so excited to begin their life together. God truly places children with the right family. There is no doubt that Daniel is a perfect match for Jason and Kelly!

This morning we tried again to figure out how to get the internet at the clinic so we could SKYPE. Jene took us to a friend that understood English pretty well and that had an understanding of the internet. Basically, he said that here in B-D the internet is too expensive to have remote internet. So, the only way possible is to download everything and bring it to a cafй. This will keep us from doing Skype. We are disappointed because we wanted to be able to talk to our children. Unfortunately, we will have to just converse through emails until we get back to Kyiv.

We then picked up Luda and went to Caleb's orphanage. She told us then that our court date would be on Thursday, March 26, 2009. So then, we will count ten days after that before we can go and get the children's birth certificates changed. This would put us on the 6th of April to go to their birth town "if" they do this process on a Monday. If they do, we will be able to have the going away party for the children possibly on the afternoon of April 6th and be able to leave B-D for Kyiv on April 7th. Our target date will still be near the 11th to fly home!!!!!

We also asked permission for "D" to visit Caleb's orphanage tomorrow and we were permitted as long as we played outside. They don't like to spread germs. Hopefully, it will be nice weather. We played outside with Caleb and he has learned to count to 4 in English. He repeats almost all words clearly and is always happy. He always puts his things away and right when he finishes his juice or snack must leave the room to go and throw away the trash. We had a small lego set that "D" had put together that he enjoyed playing with and had to take it into his groupa to show the others. He opened the door and said in Russian, "look children". When I took the flags and put them on top the building he said, "WoW". This must be a universal word! Ha! When we were leaving he asked if we would be coming back in the afternoon. We told him yes and that we would be having Daniel's party. He really didn't seem to understanding.

Later, we went to the grocery store to get some more food. You almost feel bad buying so much food, because most people only buy two or three things at the most from the grocery store. Most people buy only things when they need them and then from the outside market because it is supposedly cheaper. I think they must just frequent places that they have confidence in the owner of the space. We did go to the outside market to get a game for the Psychologist at "D's" orphanage. Luda knew where to go, so we just followed her.

Now, we are back at the clinic to take a nap until we go to the party at 3:30. I did give Slevta, the wife of the man that runs the clinic, some of the craft things I brought. She teaches bible class to some children at the shelter on Thursdays. I gave her some rubber stamps, beads, wrapping paper, a paint set and some foam stickers and regular sticker. If you are coming here and have craft items, you should bring them, because the kids love to do crafts and it doesn't take much for them to enjoy what you bring. I just cut out flowers on some wrapping paper and "D" enjoyed gluing them in the small journal I brought her, so different wrapping paper scraps are easy to pack and you can cut out the designs when you get here.